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This City Isn't Big Enough

by Apes of the State

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1.
Intro 00:26
2.
I got sober intentions cause I'm always fucking sober and I have  every intention of being your next crazy ex girlfriend  no shame in saying it out loud  and I didn't even like you that much, but I can't stop writing songs about you  Hope you like them, hope you like them, hope you do  Hope your new boyfriend likes them  Hope he sings along with you  And I got sober intentions but I'm stumbling drunk off anger  I can't stop singing, I'm spitting words like fire straight at you  I'm sorry if I burned your cute new hairdo  And I don't even hate you that much  but I can't stop being sad about this  I have had it I have had it, I'm a mess  I'm going crazy over a goddamn facebook status  And I got sober intentions but I'm strung out on emotions  I'm angry, inspired, I'm on fire  and I'm sitting on my bed  Throwing a tantrum while playing my guitar again  And I don't even hate him that much  but when you break his heart I hope he can't stop writing angry poems about it  Hope he loves you more than I did
3.
When I was just a little kid they told me to dream big you can do anything when I got older they told me to stop dreaming start being more realistic, make the coffee do the dishes but I can't seem to keep my head out of the clouds cause whats the point of living life to work until I die That can't be it and if it is then I want out and honestly I never had a dream of getting older but here I am what can I do about it, tell me what to do about it now Cause I never wanted to be every single stereotype of a white middle class 20-something pissed at the economy I never meant to be the epitome of a quarter life crisis and being a junkie didn't live up to the hype When I was just a little kid they told me I was special Then I grew up and found out they told that to every single one of us get addicted to our drugs then go away to universities where we'll sell you dreams then make you work for free They handed us an economy thats destined us for poverty then have the nerve to call us soft and lazy for complaining cause they're from a generation where you could be what you wanted to be but baby I'm a 90's kid, only 90's kids will understand this got bill collectors calling us to pay back student loans but they can't ever find us if we throw away our phones then we can sit in diners, drinking coffee smoking cigarettes outside look in each others' eyes without cell phone lights to hide behind and we can just kick off our shoes and make these sidewalks home we'll write songs and sing for food and we'll never be alone never be alone, never be alone, never be alone when we're with friends and we'll never owe shit to anyone else no we'll never owe shit to anyone else no we'll never owe shit to anyone else no we'll never owe shit to anyone
4.
Strangers 04:06
You know lately I've been thinking About some things Like all the lovely friends I made in rehab That I'll never see again Cause some of them are dead And all the people that I've met In bar bathrooms and in checkout lines that I'll never see again But in that moment It was like we were best friends Just having conversations Cause sometimes the people who don't know the things you've done are the only ones who will bother talking to you Sometimes strangers are the best people to tell your secrets to Cause they don't know you You know lately I've been thinking about things I've lost Like my mind, my heart, your baby blue eyes And lately I've been wondering about things that haven't happened yet Like if I'll ever feel that way again But the past already happened so I can't spend today digging through that shit And the future hasn't happened yet So there's no sense in worrying about it Just living in this moment And today I wish that I could put new glasses on your eyes so you could see the world the way I do through mine Cause then maybe you wouldn't wanna die you wouldn't have to stick a needle in your arm Just to survive Cause I see myself in every single part of you and I made it through So I can't just sit back and watch you throw away your life And I don't give a shit if I'm the last person on this earth who believes in you I will show you how beautiful it is to be alive And I will love you til you love yourself And I will sing until I love myself
5.
Please excuse my manners for I suffer from a problem  of believing that my thoughts won't go away unless I say them  So it might sound like I'm talking to myself when I'm deep in conversation  It's a problem that I'm working on, I thank you for your patience  But imagine for a second that I could listen to every word that you just said  Instead of getting caught up in my head trying to finish all your sentences  and occasionally letting the words slip form my lips that I want to say next  But if I wanted to hear what I wanted to hear I would talk to myself all day instead of you  Lalala I can't hear you  Lalalala I'm not listening  Now I'm hating on myself but I'm not getting better so I'm hating on you so it's not self-centered now I'm hating on you but I'm not feeling better so I'm hating on myself and I just need to breathe  God grant me serenity and I swear that if I make it through this moment then I will believe  God grant me serenity and I swear that if I make it through this moment then I will believe in you  Lalalala I can't hear you  Lalalallalalala  And sometimes when I'm playing my songs I wonder if there's anyone listening at all but I swear to god I hope I die before I ever get bored of singing to myself
6.
Excuse me while I go jump through a plate glass window or stop driving in the middle of the road  My car insurance is expired, enough to set my ass on fire  I'll just go to bed and deal with it tomorrow  You broke my heart I hope you die, emptier than how I feel inside  and when you lay your head to rest at night I hope that you never fall asleep when you  think of all the things you do I wish I could just hate you oh I wish all of  these words I said were true  Now I'm up at 5am again, writing letters from the demons in my head to leave outside your house  I'm not sure why it is I'm fighting, the pens ran out but I kept writing and I hope that if you found that letter, you just threw it out because  Baby I don't mean the things I say or do when I'm mad at you I'm just trying to figure out how life goes on without you  and I hope I die you broke my heart, stick a needle in my arm I know just what I'm running from I know that I will tear myself apart  I wonder if you still have the flowers that i brought you at work the day you dumped me  hope it wasn't a waste of money  I hope that you are happy hope you find everything you ever wanted in your life, I hope you're sleeping well at night  While I'm trying to figure out if life goes on without you, by writing a song about you  Yea I swore I'd never write another song about you, I'm singing a song about you  You broke my heart I hope you die, emptier than how I feel inside  and when you lay your head to rest at night I hope that you never fall asleep when you  think of all the things you do I wish I could just hate you oh I meant every word I said  and I hope I die you broke my heart, stick a needle in my arm I know just what I'm running from I know that I will tear myself apart
7.
Cats in Heat 02:35
Now the cats in heat, now the cats in heat We forgot to turn the AC on We went to bed and we woke up hot Please forgive me lord for the things I've done Please forgive me for the things I've left undone Now the cats in heat and so are we I didn't follow cat instructions And now my cat wants to go and fuck things Please forgive me lord for the things I did Please forgive me for the things I've left unsaid Now the cats in heat Please forgive me lord for the things I've done Please forgive me for the wrongs I did Please forgive me for the words I said And I'll forgive myself for fucking up again
8.
I Listened 04:03
Last night when I walked into your house I noticed that the couch had moved And I wanted to ask you about it But you were talking so when you finished I opened up my mouth And you called me out for being bad at listening So I wrote this song to tell ya just how well that I can listen And that I think that you are really cute And I thought that maybe I should wait to tell you that I like you but I don't really have that much to lose And I could learn your favorite song and play it on my guitar and I'll probably sing it all wrong but it might catch your attention and I don't know your favorite song but it's probably by Mars Volta cause you said you really like them when we talked and I listened yeah I listened so this morning when I woke up in my bed I made a list of all the things you told me last night that I had inside my head like that yellow is your favorite because it's a happy color and that you have been sad for as long as you remember and that the way your kitchen looked made you upset because it was a mess and that's the way things look when you're depressed and you sat across the room on that rocking chair you said you hate cause it is so loud and I wished that you had sat next to me on the couch And I'm scared that this list is too long That I can't fit all these things into a song And still keep your attention So I'm trying hard to mention some important things that I feel will really demonstrate Just how well that I listened Like how you said with tears in your eyes that you wish that being grateful was enough to keep you from feeling sad all the time And that your favorite flowers are impatiens And that when you love somebody you wait Patiently for them And that your favorite movie is the Shawshank Redemption And that serenity means listening to the water down at Tucquan Glenn And how you make poor decisions with the people that you choose to date And you'll probably think I'm crazy for this and I'd tell you that I don't give a shit but that would be a lie because I care What you think about me And I just really, desperately want to be your next poor decision Be your next poor decision Be your next poor decision And I could learn your favorite song and play it on my guitar And I'll probably sing it all wrong but it might catch your affection and I don't know your favorite song but it might be by Mars Volta Cause you said you really liked them when we talked And I listened Yea, I listened
9.
Timeline 03:36
Two years ago I was sitting on a tiny blue couch In the basement apartment of a college town The tears rolled out as I started to Break Down Cause I was lost and I was scared I was graduating school and for the first time in my life I felt so unprepared With no idea what direction I was heading to.. And I was trying I was trying not to lose my mind Do do do do Yea I was trying I was trying not to lose my mind Do do do do One year ago I was sitting on the edge of the bed At my sister's house in Edison I pulled the needle out as I started to Break Down Cause I was hurt and I was scared I tried to make it on my own and I found out that I was just so unprepared And that was how I learned That in order to be fixed.. I had to be broken first And I was trying I was trying not to lose my mind Do do do do Yea I was trying I was trying to stop getting high Do do do do Four months ago I met a girl with pretty brown eyes She looked at me and she said "I want you for mine" It made me happier than I'd been.. Well in a long time And when I found her I was scared Love never seems to come when I'm prepared And I want to write her a song.. But everytime I try, the words never seem to come out right And I'm just trying I'm just trying not to lose my mind Do do do do But she makes me yea she makes me lose my god damn mind Do do do do
10.
This city isn't big enough for the two of us, so one of us has to go one of us has to go This city isn't big enough for the two of us, so one of us has to go one of us has to go don't care about the old girlfriend, gonna find myself a new girlfriend and it's on to the next one, on to the next one don't care about the old boyfriend, gonna find myself a new boyfriend and it's on to the next one on to the next one this city isn't big enough for the two of us, one of us has to go one of us has to go this city isn't big enough for ANY OF US SO ITS ON TO THE NEXT ONE ON TO THE NEXT ONE ON TO THE NEXT ONE ON TO THE NEXT ONE ON TO THE NEXT ONE ON TO THE NEXT ONE ON TO THE NEXT ONE ON TO THE NEXT ONE ON TO THE NEXT ONE ON TO THE NEXT ONE ON TO THE NEXT ONE ON TO THE NEXT ONE ON TO THE NEXT ONE ON TO THE NEXT ONE ON...

about

This album was recorded over one weekend in two 12-hour live sessions. Thank you to everyone who has supported our music thus far for making this record possible.

If the music speaks to you, blast it loud, sing along, share it with your friends, and come out to see us play ! We love every single one of you.

Support our nonprofit organization that works to share the healing power of music with those recovering from addiction:
www.secondchancetoplay.org

We are touring in support of this record. Visit our Facebook page for cities and dates at
www.facebook.com/apesofthestate
Come out and scream these words at our faces, hug us, and love eachother !

credits

released March 11, 2016

Charlie Ballard- upright bass
Dan Ebersole- mandolin
Colin Grandstaff- harmonica, vocals
April Hartman- guitar, vocals
Mollie Swartz-violin

Artwork by Rachel Watson, photo by Mollie Swartz

Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Mike Fisher at FLUX = RAD in Coplay, PA

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Apes of the State Lancaster, Pennsylvania

folk punk from Lancaster, PA

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apesofthestate@gmail.com

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